The Heartbreak of Institutional Betrayal
This is what happens when society breaks its promises.
Key points
Institutional betrayal occurs when an institution fails to protect or actively harms someone who relies on it.
Betrayal by someone or something we depend on can have major psychological and relational implications.
Naming betrayal for what it is can help us stop internalizing the fear and start understanding the context.
Have you been noticing a sense of dread humming in the background? Maybe you wake up already bracing for the news, or you find yourself second-guessing decisions that once felt simple, like going to the doctor, planning for your future, trusting what’s true. You’re not alone. What many of us are feeling right now has a name: institutional betrayal.
As a therapist, I’ve watched people with a diversity of political views and opinions come into my office carrying not only personal pain but a heavy sense of disillusionment. I see deep questioning of existing systems and confusion while watching the real-time dismantling of others. Feelings of alienation and trauma responses are common in the therapy room.
There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that happens when something you need and trust doesn’t show up for you. That heartbreak is at the core of institutional betrayal, a concept developed by psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freyd.
What is institutional betrayal?
Institutional betrayal happens when an institution, anything from your workplace to your school, your church, or your government, fails to protect or actively harms someone who relies on it. This could look like a university ignoring sexual assault reports. A hospital dismissing your symptoms. A workplace that punishes you for taking parental leave. A government that offers confusing, contradictory information in a crisis.
Freyd explains, "Institutional effects arise in a staggering array of events from unfair or exploitative workplace policies, to legalized withholding of rights from classes of people (such as the right to marriage or health care), to the systemic destruction of a culture or people through genocide."
Institutional betrayal is damaging because it breaks something deeper: trust. When the very systems we count on in times of need leave us feeling unheard, unsafe, or unseen, the psychological impact can be significant.
As a sex therapist, pleasure is an important part of my work. Trust is an important piece of the foundational puzzle needed to create pathways to pleasure. Institutional betrayal can impact so many parts of our experience.
Why does this feel so painful?
Dr. Freyd’s related betrayal trauma theory explains that betrayal by someone or something we depend on (like a caregiver, a partner, or an institution) is more damaging than harm from a stranger. That’s because in order to survive the betrayal, we often have to stay emotionally attached to the source of the harm. We might minimize what happened or shut down emotionally.
Sound familiar? A lot of us are walking around right now feeling emotionally numb, overwhelmed, afraid to hope, and unsure of who or what to believe. We’re not broken; we're responding to something deeply disorienting: being failed by the systems we thought would protect us.
“Another senior financial regulator who assumes the worst told me… 'I am witnessing a fundamental change in who I thought we were as a country and what I thought about how the world works, the rules of the game,' he said. 'And that shakes you existentially. It represents a larger change in who you think we are as a people. That’s a bigger thing to grieve because let’s say you believe in the rule of law and you are working here because you want to make sure people follow the laws… But also your idea that this is a country built on laws could itself be now, suddenly, at risk'." —“Free Country.” New York Magazine, March 10–23, 2025
Where we see this now
What I've seen in my office is that these experiences don’t belong to one political party or community; they're woven into our shared experience. As author Sam Adler-Bell describes in New York Magazine, "Like everyone else I spoke to, this lawyer is profoundly demoralized by the prospect of losing the opportunity to work on behalf of the American people.”
Health care mistrust: Exacerbated by conflicting advice during the pandemic, I see a lot of people wondering, “Can I really trust my doctor?” A history of bias and systematized discrimination in the health care field has left a lot of people on their own, navigating their health care, seeking answers elsewhere (often on social media). In the U.S., political arguments have reduced the pathways to reliable medical information.
Economic anxiety: Dismantled aid programs, layoffs, rapidly changing industries, inflation, tariffs—there’s a growing sense that the safety net has holes, and we’re falling through.
Relationship norms under pressure: Debates around marriage, the “tradwife” movement, abortion access, and pro-natalism reflect bigger battles and fears about control and choice.
Information overload: With misinformation spreading faster than facts, it’s harder than ever to know who’s telling the truth. As a result, we see a massive distrust of media, government, and even science.
Disconnection from community: People are pulling back from institutions they once valued and trusted—churches, nightlife, schools—and feeling less supported and more isolated.
What the research shows
Freyd and her colleagues have found that institutional betrayal is linked to serious mental and physical health outcomes. People report higher rates of PTSD, depression, dissociation, anxiety, personality disorders, and chronic illness. They’re more likely to experience interpersonal challenges and less likely to seek help when they need it. The betrayal becomes a loop: The more hurt you are, the more alone you feel, and the harder it is to trust again.
Exposure to high-betrayal trauma, like when your pain is ignored by the very people or systems meant to help, can be more psychologically damaging than other forms of trauma. It even affects how we relate to one another, undermining our ability to form supportive relationships or trust new people. And over time, it chips away at our social fabric.
What can we do?
The first step is recognizing what we’re feeling. If you’ve been carrying stress, fear, or numbness, this might be part of the answer. Naming betrayal for what it is can be empowering. It helps us stop internalizing the fear and start understanding the context.
Freyd’s work shows that betrayal trauma doesn’t just affect our mental state; it affects our bodies, our relationships, and our ability to trust others and ourselves. Freyd expands, "In situations of explicit mistreatment, perpetrators may manipulate their victims to remain silent and unaware. When citizens are afraid, they are more dependent on their leaders and thus more at risk of remaining blind to the leaders’ lies and betrayals."
In my work, I have seen a powerful reframe available after naming this important element of betrayal. Rebuilding a sense of trust in ourselves and others in our community can be healing. I’ve seen the power of small, steady acts of connection like talking openly about what we’ve lost, asking tough questions, and advocating for change.
We can make choices about how we want to view our emotional options—if we want to hold out hope (or if we don't) for transparent, accountable institutions that live up to the values they claim to represent. And we can find communities where we can safely share our experiences without fear of being dismissed or judged.
We can foster trust in ourselves and our community through our daily choices and prioritize what nurtures a straightforward sense of connection. We can remember and name the choices that we make every day—from what we choose to eat for breakfast to what time we go to bed.
Building on our ability to choose helps restore trust. Choosing what feels meaningful to us helps defeat fear. And doing both at once helps heal trauma.
References
Freyd, J. J., & Birrell, P. (2013). Blind to betrayal: Why we fool ourselves we aren’t being fooled. Wiley.
“Free Country.” New York Magazine, March 10–23, 2025.